I was a competitive runner through college & young adulthood. It's a talent & source of joy I picked up kind of late in life. I excelled at something many others didn’t & people were noticing! At such a crucial time in my life, I was gaining confidence in who I was by my ability to run long & run fast. I beat the guys in my ROTC unit, drew the attention of my peers & coaches. I was “the runner”. I won the awards. I won the races. I ate, slept, & breathed running.
I also struggled w/ body image & perfectionism. I'd only eat when I felt like I'd run enough to deserve it. Clearly, all this running & restrictive eating took a toll on my body. I eventually developed pain in my shins. I denied it & kept on going, until I physically couldn’t run anymore. My brain was smarter than my will & it shut down my ability to run. A few wks before Air Force bootcamp, tests showed stress fractures so far along they could fully fracture w/ even 1 more run. No bootcamp. No running. 6 wks seemed like an eternity!
I didn’t LOOK injured. No crutches or boot. I appeared to have just stopped running. I wished I could wear a shirt that said “I AM a runner. I’m just injured”. Sick, huh? I was a mess. I didn’t know who I was anymore. I'd wrapped myself so much into this 1 identity that I'd lost my true self. This hit me hard one day when I snapped at my sister at a bowling alley for no justified reason. I went into the bathroom & cried. A 20-yr-old woman, bawling her eyes out in a public place. “What is wrong with me?!” I remember asking myself, "How did I get HERE?". At that moment I decided never to let running fully define me anymore.
IT WAS MORE THAN MY BONES THAT NEEDED HEALING
I returned to running - competitively. But this was different. It didn’t consume me. It didn’t define me. If not for that forced break, I wouldn't have discovered other activities I enjoy, my true value, ALL of my gifts. I may never have found who I really am as a whole. I am so much more than a runner!
Struggling w/ injury & ALL that comes with it? Don't go through it alone. Let me support & guide you through it ALL.
Email me to start YOUR healing journey.
💗, Kristen
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